5 reasons being single could kill you
There are dozens of interesting arguments for young men to stay single (primarily all-night keggers and watching the World Series instead of the Bachelorette). While you may love the lack of accountability and the fact that you won’t be scrutinized by anyone’s parents, you may be causing yourself more damage in the long run than you think. This extends beyond unhealthy habits like beereal—though beereal has immediate psychological advantages that simply can’t be quantified. After a little research, we’ve determined that having a significant other can be… well… pretty significant. Here are our top 5 reasons why being single can be lethal!
5 Move in Without Settling Down
Especially at a young age, the primary fear of romantic involvement is romantic responsibility—usually associated with marriage and children and many other headaches. But recent research from Kelly Musick and Larry Bumpass suggests that you might be just as happy (if not happier) cohabiting as you would in a marriage situation. People who cohabited often had higher self-esteem and felt freer to express themselves. Also, they didn’t feel as obligated to start eating kale.
4 Tip the Scales in Your Favor
Speaking of kale—like most young people, you’ve probably got very few mental or physical ailments (aside from your inability to wake up any time before 8 a.m., that is). Being with someone who’s healthy can promote healthier habits in your day-to-day activities, though. It’s classic monkey see, monkey do, and you’re one of the most simian people around. A University of Minnesota Medical School study found that young adults (that’s you, Magilla) were more likely to exercise more than 3.5 hours per week if their partners had “health promoting attitudes,” leading to decreased incidents of obesity. And a craving for bananas.
3 What Do You Use Your Tissues For?
According to a recent study at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, regular sex (twice weekly) significantly increases one’s resistance to illness (unless your partner has Ebola). Apparently, swapping spit is like training with a weight lifting partner for your immune system: when the researchers swabbed the mouths of participating students, increased frequency of sex was directly correlated to increased levels of immunoglobulin A, the body’s frontline against invading germs. The study also found that members who reported more satisfaction and longer duration for their sexual relationships reported (surprise, surprise) increased levels of IgA.
2 Stay Under the Sheets and Out of the Ground
As much as you might cringe at old aphorisms about mending a broken heart, recent research suggests that if you’re not getting regular satisfaction, you may soon be out of action. According to the New England Research Institute, you’re 45% more likely to have a heart attack if you’re having sex once a month or less versus someone who scores two or more times a week. Unless, of course, you’re one of those “legendary” guys who can pull two or three times a week with randos, holding on to a special little lady could pay huge dividends in the end. Like, y’know, making it to retirement?
1 Self-Pleasure: You’re Only Punishing Yourself
Why reach out and touch someone when you can just touch yourself, you may ask? At the TEDxGlasgow in 2012, Gary Wilson showed research that compared viewing adult videos to drug addiction. Extensive explicit viewing (just like drug use) led to diminishing returns and decreased response with the same stimulus. A high-speed connection can lead to a lack of interest in human connection, as watchers become frustrated with dating and prefer the novelty and shock of increasingly graphic material. Wilson said that most members don’t stop until they can’t get aroused when they want to get it on. Fortunately, Wilson claimed that recovered addicts can recover their mojo and often report more success with women once they quit.