Dr. Emily Morse’s Top 5 Tips for Having a Successful First Date
5 Be Present
Don’t play out your future relationship with the person in your head. This is a first date. You are not in a relationship so don’t act like you are in one. This isn’t a good time to mention that you want to have their babies in the next year. On the other hand, don’t go into a date thinking that it is doomed. Try to enjoy the company of another person and analyze later. Worst case scenario, it’s a chance to tell all the funny stories your friends are sick of hearing.
4 Don’t Be Glued to Your Cell Phone
I realize that pretending to check your cell phone is a great way to avoid awkward silences, but resist the urge. Stay engaged. Make eye contact with your date instead of with your phone, and ask them how many siblings they have or if they’ve seen Gravity yet.
3 Talk About What You Love
People are more attractive when they talk about things that they are interested in and love to remember; you don’t have to brag about your accomplishments to show them what you’re about. It’s good to talk about what you do at your job, but even if they seem interested in the launch campaign for the deodorant you’re selling, they’re probably not. Give them a slice of what your job is about and leave some mystery.
2 Don’t Say Negative Things About Yourself or Other People
It makes you look insecure and pessimistic. It’s okay if you make a couple harmless self-deprecating jokes, but don’t go overboard. Instead, showcase the positive things happening in your life. If the conversation takes a dreary turn, say something like, “the past is the past, my bad experiences have shaped my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.” Then direct the conversation to something you are passionate about.
1 Go Somewhere Casual and Fun
A fancy restaurant with violins playing in the background puts a lot of pressure on the date. Instead of picking the trendiest place in town, pick someplace laid-back where you can have a good conversation. Start off at a funky coffee shop or your favorite bar with appetizing snacks. The more relaxed the destination is, the more comfortable you will feel on the date.