Missed Connections: 5 Signs They’re Not Into You

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The whole “he’s just not that into you” thing is part of our DNA now, thanks to Sex and the City, the funny book and the movie that was based on the book – which wasn’t all that funny and it made the main character look kind of like a pathetic, stalkerish chick which is so not cool. Everyone is different, and men and women might have different ways of showing that they care – or that they want to stay as far away from you as possible. That’s just life.

Dating can be confusing, tough, and mind-blowingly frustrating but we all do it anyway… just in case. We also waste a lot of precious time wondering why they’re not calling or texting. We Facebook and Twitter stalk (you know you’ve done it) and some poor souls out there might even stalk the object of their affection via Pinterest. The point is, we waste a lot of time wondering why someone isn’t groveling at our feet with roses, steak dinners and proclamations of love. To save some time, here are a few signs that, yep, they’re not interested.

5 They talk about their exes

They talk about their exes: It’s fine once in a while to bring up an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend if it makes sense in the conversation. When you’re dating for a while you kind of want to know a teeny bit about someone’s dating history. If someone you’re dating constantly brings up an ex, you should probably pay attention. “Oh, Sara and I would always go to the park” or “Ryan used to love that movie” might seem innocent at first, but if you know too much about their ex, it probably means they’re still pining for them, and don’t have enough room in their heart or head for you. You might want to walk away and find someone who only has eyes for you.

4 They say no to dates

They say no to dates: Seems obvious but if someone repeatedly declines an invitation, you should probably back off. It’s a sure sign that they’re just not to into seeing you. If you ask them to dinner, then a play, then a basketball game and you get three “no’s,” it’s probably not because they’re just so intimidated and in awe of you that they’re scared of being in your presence. Stop asking and move on.

3 They only talk about themselves

They only talk about themselves: OK this also might just mean they’re a narcissistic jerk, but it could also mean they’re just not interested. Do they only talk about themselves, their life, their job? Do they never, ever ask about you? That’s a problem. Maybe it’s just sex to them, or maybe they’re just dense. Either way, do you really want to stick around?

2 They don’t call or text

They don’t call or text: Seems obvious and it is, but so often we stress about the nonexistent text or call or email or Facebook message. On one hand, you need to relax. If someone doesn’t respond to every text within two hours, maybe they are just busy or don’t know what to say yet. No big deal. Maybe they went out of town or they’re sick – just relax. But if days go by and it’s a recurring thing, it just might mean they’re out with someone else or they’re over it. Again, move on and live your life.

1 They never ask you out on weekends

They never ask you out on weekends: This is a big blinking red light that most people just brush off. “Maybe they have a business trip Friday to Sunday” or “Maybe they’re with their family on weekends” are probably not at all true. If you’ve gone on more than a few dates, but they’ve all been Monday through Thursday with no Friday through Sunday in sight, there is something wrong. Weekends mean “I like you.” Not seeing someone on the weekends means “I want to go to bars and meet new people because you’re cool but I’m not 100% into it.” Sorry, but that’s the truth. Remember, if the first few dates are weeknights that’s totally cool. If you’re getting to dates 4, 5 or 10? Move on. That is, unless you’re cool with casual.

Dina Gachman writes about Hollywood and celebrities for Forbes, and covers film for Red Bull USA. She has written for Splitsider, Thought Catalog, and Hello Giggles. Her comic books about Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor are being published by Bluewater Comics.

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dating, relationship, missed connections

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